Looking back 10 years ago, i was never the same person as I was today.
Witnessing your family’s struggles and pain definitely changes you. In a lot ways you’d ever think of.
Being the weak and crybaby as I was, it was hard; confusing, sometimes.
That’s when I knew I had to be strong. I had to fight. I had to speak.
Oh, the amount of courage I had to take in just to stop tears from flowing whenever I see my family struggle, knowing they need someone to draw strength from.
If there’s one thing life has taught me: oftentimes, even at your weakest, you need to act strong for the people you love.
Thankfully, at young age, I was exposed to this harsh reality. Helped me build genuine relationships with people, and at the same time value them.
But seeing all these, witnessing every heartbreak and pain one after the other, made me feel detached with everything.
I stopped hoping people will change. I stopped running after people. I started cutting ties. I started fighting.
Whether that’s a good thing or not, I am not sure. But building walls surely did help me from further hurt and grief from lost relationships not worth any of my time.
There are plenty of people who have nothing but bad intentions for you. People who will hurt you, and try to get the best of you. People who will make you inferior and will make you question your worth, worse, your heart.
There are people who will try to ruin you, and manipulate how others’ think of you.
There are people whom you will never be enough, no matter how hard you try, no matter how much good you do them.
I spent years trying to figure out what I did wrong, or where I was lacking. But growing up taught me that how other people treat you, or perceive you was never your problem.
It is theirs.
A product of their character.
Their insecurities.
Their own demons.
Their own battle to fight.
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